theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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