So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
