I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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