JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
