The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize