and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
