Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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