your room smells of hookers.
And success
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
