On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
