I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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