He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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