I wish my penis had an off switch
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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