And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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