I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize