I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You don't make any sense
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"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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