Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize