apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
