He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize