im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize