I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
