Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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