My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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