I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
