how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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