she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
