Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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