thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
