...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
