I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize