tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
