I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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