I must be too annoying 4 u.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
