I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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