That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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