Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
