Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We just shotgunned beers for America
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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