I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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