I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
