Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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