I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
