Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
