yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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