yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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