we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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