he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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