Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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