Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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