Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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