john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
