North Korea, Best Korea!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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