and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize