I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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