remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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