In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize