i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
