OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
