We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
