Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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