My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
